Fairer Than Most
by slightlytookish
Summary: On the way to Rivendell, Merry and Pippin tease Frodo about the way Gandalf described him to Butterbur. Frodo turns the tables and wonders how Gandalf might have described them. Based on a Shirebound plotbunny.


_Based on this Shirebound plotbunny:_

_40. Gandalf's description of Frodo to Butterbur was quite detailed. Merry and Pippin take such pleasure in teasing Frodo about looking "fairer than most" and being a "perky chap with a bright eye", that Frodo and Sam muse aloud as to how Gandalf might have described them -- much to Strider's amusement and the younger hobbits' embarrassment. (This can take place in Bree, on the way to Rivendell, or even in Rivendell with Gandalf present.)

* * *

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"_Fairer than most_?" Merry recalled. He caught Frodo's eye and smirked. "What was Gandalf thinking?"

Brow furrowed, Pippin turned to Frodo and studied him intently. After a moment he concluded, "I suppose Frodo is handsome enough, but he can't possibly be better looking than we are, Merry."

"It must have been an oversight on Gandalf's part," Merry replied, clearly trying not to laugh. "Then again, I wouldn't be surprised if Butterbur mixed things up."

"There's no other way to explain it," Pippin agreed, nodding fervently. "Especially when you consider the _taller than some_. Frodo is the shortest one by far."

Frodo rolled his eyes, an action that was not lost on Pippin.

"Oh no – I'm at least an inch taller," Pippin insisted. "I am! Come on, Frodo, let's stand back to back and have Merry measure us."

"Gentlemen," Aragorn interrupted. "We cannot delay."

The conversation halted, then, and the next few minutes passed peacefully enough for Frodo to foolishly believe that his cousins were done tormenting him.

"Did I hear him call Frodo a _perky chap_ as well?" Pippin asked loudly, breaking the silence. "I suppose Gandalf has never tried to ask Frodo a question before breakfast. Our cousin is quite grumpy in the morning."

"I know, Pip," Merry said, shaking his head solemnly. "But you must admit that Frodo has lovely eyes. Lovely, bright, _big_, **blue** eyes."

Pippin let out a high-pitched giggle, and Merry's valiant attempt to remain serious crumbled soon after as both cousins were consumed by laughter.

"Go on, laugh at your old cousin's expense," Frodo said, walking past Merry and Pippin, who, by now, had tears rolling down their faces. "I can only imagine how Gandalf would have described the two of you had he known you were coming along."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Merry demanded, wiping his eyes and trying very hard to calm down.

"What do you think he would have said, Sam?" Frodo asked, pointedly ignoring his cousin.

Sam really did not want to get involved with this squabble, but everyone, even Aragorn, was awaiting his response. "I suppose Gandalf would have called any of us s_tout little fellows_, Mr. Frodo," he said finally, inwardly relieved that he was able to think of a non-offensive answer.

"Certainly, Sam," Frodo replied, pleased. "But I was thinking of what would set Merry and Pippin apart from other hobbits. Some of their more… disagreeable traits, perhaps."

"Disagreeable?" Pippin cried.

"Peregrin Took," Frodo began, doing his best to imitate Gandalf's voice and demeanor. "A foolish lad, more curious than a cat and more troublesome. Talks constantly and there's no use covering your ears, Barley, because he won't stop chattering from the moment he wakes up until he falls asleep."

"I don't _chatter_-"

"And then there's Meriadoc Brandybuck, of course," Frodo continued, his voice rising above Pippin's.

"Oh, this should be good," Merry said, rolling his eyes.

"A stout hobbit – indeed, rounder than both his cousins-"

"I'm not _round_," Merry sputtered, puffing up with pride, or indignation.

"But above all, Butterbur, remember that Meriadoc is a hobbit of ill repute who leads even the most innocent gardeners astray into a life of eavesdropping and general meddling," Frodo concluded with a smug grin. "Of course I do not fault you for that, Sam. Though, it would serve you well to keep your distance from both my cousins before they completely corrupt you."

Sam nodded quickly, eager to end the conversation in whatever way he could. He looked away from Merry and Pippin, both red-faced with anger or shame.

Aragorn cleared his throat then, and all four hobbits realized they had unwittingly stopped walking. They resumed their march, this time in silence.

After a few moments Frodo wondered if he had been too harsh with his cousins. Then again, they were young and liked to jest; certainly they knew he did not mean anything by it. He debated if he should say something – it would be days before they reached Rivendell, and he did not want to have two moody hobbits for company. But there was his pride to consider – he needed to put them in their place before they completely ridiculed him.

"We only did it because we were concerned about you, Frodo," Merry said quietly, breaking the silence first.

"And how does teasing show your concern for me?" Frodo asked over his shoulder.

"Not _that_," Merry replied impatiently. "Why we – well, I – convinced Sam to report back to us about you."

"We just wanted to make sure that you wouldn't leave the Shire alone," Pippin added. "And really, Frodo, you shouldn't be angry with Merry because he only wants to help you. Just as I do," he concluded, his tone both reproachful and defensive.

"Oh, Pippin," Frodo said softly. "I'm not angry; I was just teasing you back. Didn't you ever hear that turnabout is fair play?"

The younger hobbits looked back at him, relief visible in their expressions, and Frodo was reminded once more of the risks they were taking on his behalf, and, though he supposed it was selfish of him, how glad he was to have their company.

"Really, Frodo? You're not angry?" Merry asked, worry still clouding his features.

"Not at all," Frodo said with a smile. "I appreciate everything you two are doing for me. You're my own dear cousins, and I love you both."

Pippin grinned. "I suppose Gandalf was right – you really are fairer than most, Frodo," he said, ducking behind Merry, and out of Frodo's reach. The young hobbits turned then, and laughingly ran ahead as Frodo chased after them.

Sighing a little, Sam adjusted the straps of his pack as he and Aragorn stood together, watching.

"Are they always like this?" Aragorn asked, his stern face betrayed by the amusement in his voice.

"No, sir," Sam replied, shaking his head. "Sometimes they're even worse."

Their eyes met and they laughed then, watching the cousins for a moment before they followed. Though none of them knew what would happen in the next part of their journey, their hearts and minds were put at ease, however briefly, by the joyful sound of laughter.


End file.
